Friday, June 3, 2005

One of my favorites

If you know me you know I have a lot of trouble identifying just one favorite anything. I can give you a list of my favorite books or movies but really can't say this is my favorite. That is true of my stories as well. This one is definately in the top part of my favorites list though. it was written for the AOL contest in April of 1998, the theme was "Shoes".

     Hey! Yeah you! If you're gonna pick me up and put me in that dark closet you could at least listen a minute. Do you have any idea what I go through in a day? I mean first of all I start my day with the kid saying he can't find me. Its really bad for my self image that considering all I do for the kid he can't find me in the mornings. I mean every morning I'm right where he dumped me last night. Well I am if he hasn't used one of me to squash a spider on the wall and then left me somewhere. How would you like to be smacked into a wall to kill a spider? That spider never did anything to me.

    I'm damp you say? Of course I am. You let him play in the sprinkler. Did he think to take me off? No. So I get dragged through the mud getting covered with the stuff. Then later he complains that I'm uncomfortable because I'm wet. Like that's my fault? There's that self image thing again. And please dear God don't put me in the dryer! How would you like to be bounced around in all that heat for 30 or 45 minutes? Talk about a headache.

    While we're at it lets talk about those scuff marks you're looking at. Wondering how he does that? Well let me tell you its no fun for me! Like yesterday. He's riding that skateboard right? Well how do you think he stops? You got it Ace by dragging ME on the ground. He wouldn't try that one barefooted! Ha! I'd like to see how he felt if he rubbed the top of HIS toes bare. Its ok to do it to me though. And then there is that darn dog. Yeah you taught her to stop chewing on me when he wasn't wearing me and I appreciate that I really do. I mean ewwwww dog slobber….makes me shudder to think of it. But now you really need to teach her not to chew on me when he IS wearing me! I mean he tries to get her to! Crawling away from her like that and laughing when she grabs ME and trips him. Oh you think its funny! I've seen you laughing. Then the slobbery mutt sits under the table and he waves me in front of her face until she takes a bite. Ouch…yuck! More slobber. Does that sound like much of a life to you?

    By the way what are you doing with me? You never pick me up like this. What's that bag? Its got all kinds of old clothes in it. Wait! Is that a shoe box? Hey the kid is in school why am I here. Oh my God…you're giving me away aren't you? I didn't mean it! I love it here. My life is perfect. The kid doesn't mean it. Hey come on take me out of the bag. What's that big box with Goodwill on it? Wait…don't dump me in there……………


jen73169 said...

LOL... Priceless!!! I think I'm gonna love this new journal!

connielgg said...

I remembered this one. I love it and the Easter Bunny one. You should write more of these.